I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
