The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
