Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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