I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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