you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
