We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
