Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
did you just send me my own nude
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
