you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
