brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
