Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
