fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
