Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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