what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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