Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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