So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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