i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
50% drunk capacity currently
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
