If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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