Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
