My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
