And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
