if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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