btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
