oh god the rape fog is back!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
