I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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