Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
