Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
