he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
