I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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