what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
