I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
