I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this hospital has no fireball
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
