I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
