turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
