Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
