Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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