they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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