therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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