it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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