the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
