my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
