...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
