also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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