just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
