i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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