I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
