I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
