I feel like abortions should bother me more
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
