some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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