We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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