I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
