He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
